i looked back in time

Yesterday was so beautiful outside, and I wanted to take my camera on a walk with my friend Bianca to celebrate the temperature.

I wanted to explore the seemingly abandoned train station areas. First we had to pass through a fence that had been taken down at one spot to allow us to trespass into the fake suburban community downtown.

After we walked through the storybook neighborhood, we were back into the real world and crossed a few roads to get to an area of one color: grey. The endless stones on the ground were grey. The old trains and industrial machines were grey. Even the banner of capitalism (American flag) seemed grey to me. The black bird bathing in the toxic rain puddle, however, seemed to Bianca to appear as bright as day itself.

We walked onward, snapping shots of the ancient concrete jungle. Eventually we got to a place under the highway overpass. Without noticing, I almost stepped on a sleeping man who had garbage scattered all around him. Also scattered were bright jelly beans which sprinkled color all over the stone ground.

I needed to pee, and I saw a path, so I told Bianca to wait while I did my business. I went ahead up the path and peed in the bushes. When I finished, I looked up and saw (while not wearing my glasses) old tattered clothes and other colors amidst the trees ahead. I scurried back to Bianca and told her to follow me. I wanted to see what was ahead. As we walked closer it became apparent that these colors were tents that had been erected beneath the brush of the highway. A dog began to bark, which I perceived to be a threat (though later Bianca would tell me the dog was actually excitedly wagging its tail). Someone who I thought was a long-haired man (Bianca told me later it was a female) stepped outside the bushes and stared at us from afar. I stared back, in shock, not knowing how to act.

I was staring back into another world of long ago. I had been here, or dreamt this before. It seemed like minutes before I finally waved. The figure waved back. I paused and awkwardly shouted, "Hello," but the absent response left me pacing back and forth, deciding whether it would be more offensive to welcome myself to the tents or to turn around and leave: a lose-lose situation.

Bianca also looked uncomfortable and we turned around to leave, though something in my conscience didn't like that. Later Bianca said, "That's where Jesus would've gone, you know. The margins of society."

Bianca also remember the childhood dream of living adventurously in a tent, or perhaps a treehouse. I recalled my own similar, early fantasies. I do not know why we turned around, nor do I know why my inner being wants me to return and dwell with those people.

There was recently a shooting in another part of town: Allison Hill - the "pocket of poverty" as local clergy describe it. Katie and I walked to St. Francis of Assisi Cathedral at noon today for their Good Friday prayer walk, where we were to pass by the murder site (though I don't remember that part). We walked around south Allison Hill, stopping at various points to pray, do liturgy, kneel before the cross we carried, etc. As we walked onward, we sang, alternating between English and Spanish, as locals gathered on porches to perplex at our passing.

I had never done a non-Protestant Holy Week, but Katie helped me realize why I enjoyed the Catholic way. Catholics emphasize Christ's suffering so heavily. It's true, there is a much longer story of suffering than there is victory, in terms of scripture. Yes, suffering is temporary and joy eternal, but the word passion comes from the Passion of Christ - his suffering, his murdering, his slaughter. These Franciscans do something great by not cheapening Christ's affliction - they make His resurrection actually worth something.

Walking around the city, hearing about pain the whole time (until the final station) was difficult, but the truth is, it was still a nice day outside. My only question is: how long must the tent city suffer before it reaches its rightful atonement? Will the Church see its call, or will we merely wait for the apocalypse?